Validation
We all crave it. Some of us (ahem, like me!) are wired to hunger for it more than others. And depending on many factors - not the least of which is perceived attention received as child - we may be subconsciously looking for it everywhere.
As many of you know, I'm a Leo sun and at my core I love attention. I've never been called shy and the thought of public speaking excites and energizes me. I am in a lucky position to receive a great deal of external validation - through my one-on-one work with clients, through blogs like this, and through my speaking engagements to groups. No compliment goes unappreciated.
And yet, sometimes it doesn't feel like enough. Like a hungry ghost, I crave more.
So on this journey of evolution, consciousness and self-creation, I've been wondering - how to provide that necessary validation to myself? Is it even possible? What would it or could it look like?
To answer these questions, I've explored four ways to promote inner validation. I'm excited to work on them myself and to share with the tribe:
1 | CHECK YOUR VALUES: When we value things like instagram followers over real connection with friends or family we mistake mirage for authentic relationship. I, like many of us, value depth. I value grounding. I value spiritual connection. I value kindness. When we get clearer on what we actually value vs. what we've been acting like we value, a sense of inner peace can grow.
2 | THE "I DID" LIST: Instead of an end-of-day "to-do" list, I've been doing a nighttime "I did" list. This list consists of the events that actually did get accomplished regardless of interruption. Sometime's they're large and exciting (I talked to that law firm or college about a big speaking engagement); other times they're much smaller but no less important (I spent lots of time outside in nature with Theo, I helped a friend via phone through a tough time). Ultimately, there are always a few things we can be proud of. It's time to scan and celebrate those daily!
3| MEDITATE TO AFFIRM: Though this is technically a kids meditation, it is one of my absolute favorites. I recently taught it to a client who (loved it) and remarked how she wished the old corporate me of 5 years ago could see me now...ha! Even if it feels silly (which it kind of does when you do it) it also scratches that itch of the inner child who is desperate to be told - you're doing a great job, you are a gift, and ultimately you, yes you are good.
4| FIND PURPOSE, RELEASE RESULTS: When we act from a state of purpose we're on a quest and that quest pulls to us, like a magnet, all the support and inspiration we need. So many spiritual teachers tell us time and time again, release the results, create for the sake of creativity, do what brings you joy and let go of the rest. Find a purpose - today! It can be to brighten someone's mood. To develop discipline through a non-negotiable 40 day meditation practice. To start on a new path towards that dream of being a teacher, or entrepreneur, or marine biologist. Big or small, align your purpose with your values, do something TODAY to move it forward and release the rest.
For support along this wild and wonderful journey of life, I look forward to connecting over a session.
To book a speaking engagement or meditation class, learn more here.